Rooms with a View

Funny, these potheads are some of the friendliest, most courteous people I've encountered in my door-knocking U.S. Census enumerating. I call them potheads for lack of a better term. Being thoroughgoing libertarians, they have a live-and-let-live approach to life, including their roommates.

"Is this person male or female?"

I hate asking that question, especially when asking directly to the person who has answered the door, as in "are you male or female?" One can never presume, especially when said interviewee is 90, wears her/his white hair short, wears nondescript slacks, has a sunken chest, and speaks with a gravelly voice. I usually brush through that question in a mumble or pose it with a twist of humor. 90-somethings tend to be hard-of-hearing anyway. Why do parents give their children gender-neutral names? It only frustrates census enumerators every ten years.

These potheads are closer to 19 than 90 and they are definitely guys. The unseen roommate is another matter.

"[Roommate] was a he, then changed to a she." Pothead One is speaking.

"Or was it the other way around?" Pothead Two is speaking.

I calmly reply, "What I need to write down is how this person self-identifies now."

I'm answering the friendly potheads who are deliberating over the gender identification of one of their roommates. But they are gracious and engaged with me and I am grateful that they do not seem the gun-wielding type. Gender angst is not near as threatening to my doorbell ringing as Second Amendment angst.

Apartment complexes are different than sprawling neighborhoods mostly in that you can cover a lot of Narfus (non-response follow up) in one stop. This complex seems to be full of 20- and 30-something males footloose and fancy free on a midweek afternoon. They tend to work – and party – at night, so daytime is a good time to find them home and somewhat coherent.

Whoever laid out this complex had his own to deal with – complex, that is. It is a sprawling non-sequential mess that must make every pizza stone cold upon delivery.

Ah, but the view. Three massive Cascade mountain beauties on the clearest of days and a front row view of the prevailing rains otherwise.

But do they know their neighbors? Not any less than the more secluded (and wealthier) types higher up in the West Hills who work days and sleep nights while these footloose guys lower down the hill clean and guard the office buildings of the upper-crested people.

Potheads One and Two are firm. They don't know anybody, not even their gender-angsted roommate, but especially not the condo next door. Suspicious-acting clean-cut kid verifies his neighbor moved out months ago – and good riddance. He agrees to be a proxy, as if that act could somehow wield vengeance. Maintenance man with a funny European accent won't give me his name to put down for proxy – besides, he suddenly can't remember what he just told me about those tenants.

Proxy is when you stand in for someone else.

As in this apartment is vacant and I, Census Guy, can't vouch for it even though it's obvious through the windows that there's not a stick of furniture in the place. You see, I am the enumerator. I report. I don't verify. I can't be a proxy on my own report.

Neighbors verify. As in we live in community and we care about our neighbors. As in we're willing to take risks and stand in for our neighbors. Nice theory that doesn't work uphill or down.

Guy-in-B2 is quick to tell me his neighbors are there only once a year and otherwise they are in Mexico, or so he says with a where-they-belong sneer.

"Can I put you down as proxy to verify this Mexico place is vacant?"

"No, I don't know anything about the place."

Like a good neighbor.

I try to reassure B2 that any information I take down is strictly confidential for 72 years and I and any of the hundred other people who will handle this apartment information have sworn on oath and turning over of first-born (tempting sometimes) not to divulge. Not that anyone cares except maybe your descendants 72 years from now – if you have any descendants, that is.

Supervisor (later): "Put B2's name down as proxy for his neighbor anyway." He won't know for 72 years.

G4 has big dog, live-in fiancé, no kids. When I left a notice of intended visit yesterday, he told his fiancé he would pull a Saturday Night Live gig on me about census takers. ("80 people live here.") Thus the friendly smirk when he opens the door.

I tell him he can say anything about me as long as he doesn't divulge my actual ID information for at least 72 years. (No such rule applies to my ID, but what does he know?) I'm returning the favor to him as I write. Nice guy. Big dog. Great view. I can't vouch for the fiancé. She wasn't home.

Maintenance guy: "We have 20 illegals in the basement." He doesn't know anything about SNL, but he does know he doesn't want to be proxy. He's pulling the humor-evasion #27 technique.

Funny how few of us in this modern day are willing to proxy for our neighbor. Would make a great parable. Samaritan, anyone?

 

The road to a comprehensive HT bill – Part III

This afternoon the Human Trafficking Legislative Planning Group will convene once again. This team, tasked with developing comprehensive human trafficking legislation proposals for the 2011 Oregon state legislative session, is a diverse body of key government and non-profit personnel. They will be working through the summer to come up with proposals by September when more legally minded hands will begin molding the material into billable form. Stephanie Mathis, Executive Director for the Oregon Center for Christian Values, is coordinating this team.

More is required than just preparing legislation. At the state level, bills do not move through the Legislature unless citizens speak up. This is where advocacy kicks in and OCCV is ready. OCCV's Human Trafficking Advisory Committee will launch next month (June) its HT Point Leader Plan of Action with a Point Leader training workshop. We are calling it "10 x '10" – ten leaders for 10 groups of 10 persons each to be recruited and trained in advocacy by the end of 2010.

The HT Advisory Committee is currently recruiting 10 Oregonians as these point leaders. We are looking for 10 people from 10 different congregations, particularly from Washington, Multnomah and Marion/Polk Counties, though other parts of the state are also welcome to participate. These point leaders will attend our training workshop in June. They will then work between June and October to find 10 other people each (from their congregation and otherwise) who will be willing to train and work with their point leaders to advocate on behalf of the HT legislation endorsed by OCCV.

In October and November, these point leaders will each sponsor a training session with their team members in preparation for the 2011 legislative session. The goal is that by the time the legislative session opens in January 2011, we will have over 100 citizen advocates to help push through the HT legislation and have it signed into law by June 2011.

Bryan Colbourne, Stacy Bellavia and I will be serving as coaches for these 10 point leaders and their teams. And we are making the following commitments to each of these point leaders:

1. We will pray for them in their work.
   
2. We will keep them abreast of all developments in the HT legislation and process.
   
3. We will maintain regular contact with them, encouraging them and helping them in their process of developing their point teams.
   
4. We will work to connect them with the key legislative players and also with their own legislators during the months leading up to the 2011 legislative session.
   
5. We will help point leaders arrange experts from the legislative planning group as guest speakers for their training sessions.
   
6. We will coordinate a rapid communication system with these point leaders to mobilize their point persons as advocates as needed.
   
7. We (coaches and point leaders) will meet regularly as a group during the fall season and during the months the legislature is in session for prayer, reporting and encouragement.
   

In addition, I am personally looking for 100 other people who will commit to pray for these point leaders and personnel and for this legislative process.

As Psalm 68:5 says, God is "father to the fatherless." There are thousands of such fatherless children, our brothers and sisters, who are in desperate need of God's protection and deliverance from the bondage and exploitation of human trafficking. The verse that follows says that "God sets the lonely in families." I can't think of anything more lonely in our day and time than being trapped in slavery and trafficking. I like to think that each of these point teams will become families, who through their advocacy will be sheltering these lonely and fatherless modern-day slaves, who have no one else to advocate for them.

We want to do more than rescue those who are currently trapped. We want to shut off the demand and trafficking channels themselves. This legislative process will move us a giant step forward toward that goal and we are looking for 10 good citizens of Oregon to join us by signing up as 10x'10 Point Leaders.

If you want to be a point leader or you know someone who could serve in this role, I'd like to hear from you. If you want to be one of the 100 to commit to praying for this team over the next 12 months, I'd like to hear from you, too. You can go to my website, http://hnkconnect.com, to send me your name and contact information. Please let me hear from you today.

Aunt and Uncle for a Weekend

No real names have been used for the kids in this article

Dana, a pint-sized whirlwind of energy and bubbly emotion, doesn't slip in the door; she invades our house, commanding even the walls to open their hearts to her. Sam comes in quietly, slides into a cushioned chair without ruffling the air molecules.

We've been doing respite foster care for Morrison Child and Family Services the past few months, giving our hearts to each kid passing through our home. Some come time after time, some only once. Some live with a biological parent on the edge, others have stable foster homes or live with extended family. Some have no idea where or what "home" is.

Yvonne stayed for a week with us last summer before transitioning back to her biological mother, who after a couple years of working through issues was deemed capable of having her children back. We've had no communication with her since, but we cannot forget her ever-frantic pace and her hungry, pensive feel about returning home.

Two kinds of kids are assigned to us. Jill is in therapeutic care with Morrison, a program for kids who've suffered extensive abuse – physical, sexual, emotional – and who require special year-round education and intensive care. Bob is in regular foster care in the state's Department of Human Services. All have "issues" – the stuff that's been shoved into them comes out in all forms of acting out and garbled, porcupine-prickly cries of "love me!"

The needs of these kids, all who have experienced trauma in one form or another in their short lives, can overwhelm all care givers, so we provide much needed respite for those who do the caring – and for the kids a fun visit to the Kenyons. We share our home, our own kids, our chickens and our cats, our garden, our membership at the Community Center swimming pool – and our love.

Kim and I are not experts. We have been through many hours of training for this assignment and are required to complete ongoing training. We also attend a monthly gathering with fellow respite care providers led by our fearless leader, Buddy-with-the-Boston-accent. Mostly we just know how to open our homes to kids who don't have one.

At three, Billy lost his father in an accident. He never knew his bio-mother who was just a passing interest on the part of his dad. From infancy, he's been raised by his devoted grandparents, who at their advanced age cannot keep up with his special educational and emotional needs. The regular respite care we and others provide helps keep Billy at home with them. Their greatest concern is whether they will live long enough to make sure he reaches adulthood intact.

Jana, who doesn't remember her parents either, has been in many foster and group homes since the age of four. Yvonne hurts herself trying to deal with the pains and anger inside. Bob passed through our lives on his way back to a mother he had mixed feelings about. We watched Dana's world fall apart and felt her anger at a mother she clings to even as she knows her mother struggles to love her.

They come in all ages until they age out of the system at 18. The kids I've described are between 8 and 14, often emotionally and academically three or so years behind their peers. The majority are white, though other races are represented. We pray for these kids, whether or not we see them again. And we turn our worries about their futures into prayers that God will somehow give them a miracle – a successful entry into adulthood.

Friends ask if any of these kids can be adopted. As a society we put limits on what the state can force parents to do. And separation from biological parents, even abusive ones, is trauma that experts are only beginning to fathom. Even though these may be lovable kids, loving them full time is a stretch for most families. So much pain has been poured into these kids, it takes a village to raise them and love all that junk out of them through therapy, education, medical care, and just plain wholesome family warmth. Obviously stability is a priority concern and as respite foster parents we can help maintain that stability by being an occasional oasis.

Commonly as these kids pass through our home, we say to each other, "Maybe we should keep this one." They've been separated from their real mom (where are the dads?) or they're having to be transitioned out of their foster family. But we know our mission for each of these kids is to be the respite foster parents whom they visit monthly or occasionally or for a week in the summer or maybe even just once. We take them swimming, play board games with them, shoot some hoops in our driveway, let them feed the chickens and pet the cats, eat our food and talk with us. We let them experience "normal" for just a few, short hours and pray they'll come to know the Father's love that will never fail them.

Since our program started a year ago, Buddy reports that respite care nights per month have shot up to over 100. We are among a small but growing number of respite foster parents, a mere handful for a metro area of a million, and more are desperately needed. If you or someone you know in the Portland area can get involved in either the fulltime Therapeutic or the Crisis Respite programs, call Buddy Cushman or Roxy Wendland at 503-736-6699 and tell them Howard & Kim sent you. And Roxy would love to come speak at your church's mission groups, small groups, or community organizations. After years of being Mom to such kids, does she ever have a story to tell that will crush your heart!